Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Friday, January 4, 2013

Review: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

I said: 
Try the IMAX experience at the Forum. It's pretty expensive, and the screen is tiny compared to the one in HyderaBAD, but the seats have glowing cup holders.

She said:
And everyone knows that's what's important.

People are so snarky these days.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Review - Skyfall (2012)

Great film.
I especially admire the attempt to spread awareness about neurological disorder.


[Silva strokes Bond's neck]

"It's about her... and you, and me. You see, we are the last two rats... tworats! tworats! TWORATS!"

[Bond falls off his chair in shock. Silva helps him back on and resumes stroking.]

"Sorry, I have Tourette's."

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Review - Talaash (2012)

until ten minutes from the end
a spirit descends into the seat next to yours
picks up your drink
and pours it on your head.

Friday, December 21, 2012

lower case review - life of pi (2012)

god as non-sequitur

>=< Review - Looper (2012)

The movies of Rian Johnson:
( Brothers Bloom (2008) = BLooper ) < Brick (2005)

Review - Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

Excellent for the most part.
I don't know what to make of the finale, though.
Thought I found a plot hole.
Then I wasn't sure.
Then I was.
Now I'm not.
This time travel shit just fries your brain like an egg.

But I think it's safe to say Aubrey Plaza is beautiful.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Annotated Screenshot Review - Cloud Atlas (2012)

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Review - Taken 2 (2012) - Take 2

Dude makes his teenage daughter run around a teeming metropolis hurling grenades while he stands around talking on his phone.
Model parent.

Too bad everything before and after isn't nearly as exciting.

>=< Review - Taken 2 (2012)

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Review - Kalpana (2012)

Fucking awful ninety minutes of horror-comedy
then out of nowhere a glimmer of hope of redemption
quickly extinguished by more awfulness

which is a shame, really, because there's an important moral buried underneath all that rubbish

Review - Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

Everybody seems to genuinely love it. I wasn't too impressed. Exactly the way it was with Fantastic Mr. Fox.

I'm trying to understand why I'm in such a miniscule minority on this thing.

It's not that I don't like Wes Anderson. Rushmore's my second favourite film of all time.

And it's not that I don't like kids. Kids are my second favourite age demographic of all time.

Also, I was a Cub for two years, then a Scout for three more.

And I hated it.
Okay, that must be it, then.

Edward Norton's pretty great, though. As is the meet-cute.

And I recognise that it would be somewhat ironic if I ended this with "cute", so I've avoided that.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Half Word Review - The Cabin in the Woods (2012)


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Review - Ek Tha Tiger (2012)

I walked in expecting a great spy thriller, and walked out when the movie ended.

The trailer was pretty good, wasn't it? But so misleading. I don't know what happened.

Was it good? Depends on how you look at it. As a Tiger Woods biopic, it was terrible. But as a man-vs.-maneater allegory, it was revelatory.

The tiger population is down to its last specimen. And he, with no females (or, indeed, any ales) of his species around, is forced to hook up with a Pakistani chick (tiger variety). And the intelligence agencies of both countries, displaying no intelligence whatsoever, try to hunt them down despite the direness of the situation.

The makers must be lauded for this noble enterprise. Praise must also go to Salman Khan, doyen of intelligent cinema, and great lover of wildlife (Not like that. At least, I don't think so. And he's not too fond of African-American bucks, but it's not like they're endangered or anything, right?)

Also, the supporting cast was so good that the dude sitting behind me in the theatre was moved to observe "Gopal Karnad is such a great actor". For real, bro.

Here I start to digress...
Near the west gate of Lalbagh is a Save the Tiger poster that looks something like

Now, the part I've labelled (T) is, I'm assuming, the tail. (L) is the "last leg". Which leads me to wonder what the protrusion labelled (P) is. Is it... but it's so...

Oh, and I forgot to mention 'Spoilers Ahead' before the fourth paragraph.